A resource that I love bringing to session is called The Window of Tolerance. Each person has one and it is telling us when we are in a good headspace and able to process information, be attentive, and also communicate clearly with others. When we are out of our Window of Tolerance, this results in us being hyper-reactive or hypo-reactive. Essentially hyper-aroused means that we are worked up, anxious, stressed out, and juggling too much at once. On the flip-side we have hypo-aroused which means that we are frozen, overwhelmed, and shutting down as a means of coping.
We can fluctuate between the three areas and it will all depend on how we are managing our stress levels. It is important to pay attention to what drives us to be in a hyper-around and a hypo-around state of being. For example, is it having a big proposal due the following day? Is it stress from your children arguing that is shutting you down? Or are you not adding in enough time to take care of yourself? These are just a few examples of what might bring about these feelings. What are real time examples for you?
By working with a therapist, you are able to expand your Window of Tolerance by learning new tools and coping skills to navigate those tougher moments. An easier way to look at it is that your bandwidth expands due to the new skills that you are learning and implementing!