Setting Boundaries

I hear so often how setting boundaries is a really hard process. It is, trust me! Through learned experiences you have developed a pattern of how you interact with others. This pattern can be beneficial at times and other times it works against you. The question to think about is how is this pattern of behavior helping you? If it isn’t helping it might be worth further exploration. People who are used to the way that you interact with them will more than likely have an issue now that you are setting boundaries. They benefit when you act in the old way of interacting. The goal is to set boundaries so that you feel heard and feel confident in your decisions moving forward. 

The hard part about setting boundaries is that even though you have stated what you will or will not allow, that does not guarantee that the other person is going to follow what you have attempted to put in place. The continued follow up and reiteration of your boundaries will be needed. It takes time for people to learn this new way of interacting with you but reinforcement is also helpful. If someone is not abiding by what you are requesting, it could be time to re-evaluate your relationship with them. This would be a great topic of exploration in therapy.