A huge component when creating change in our lives is also taking a closer look at the people in our support network. Are these people in the same place as us? Are they motivated to change and feel better or differently in their own lives? Are they stuck and continuing to find themselves in a place they cannot get out of month after month?
They say that the five people that you spend the most time with have the most influence over you. As you begin to navigate how to make changes in your life, it is normal to think about how you are spending your time and if the things you are doing contribute to your goals in life. Our friends and family also have great influence over the goals we strive for. If we have someone who is negative and makes us question our choices, chances are we will not push through that because we want support over challenges. If we are trying to get clean or sober and our partner continues to minimize attending meetings doesn’t matter, we will have a greater likelihood of not sticking with it because it is not a priority for them.
When making changes to your life as it relates to the people in your corner, think about these three things:
Is who I am becoming someone who has supportive people there to help push me forward when I am struggling? If no, who should I place better boundaries with to not fall back into old patterns of behavior.
Out of all of the people in my corner, who will hold me the most accountable? Who will challenge me and help me get to where I want to go and grow? Does this person know that they are an important influence in your life?
Who out of my supports is most aligned in their own goals and follow through? What can I do to become more like them and stay motivated?
If you struggled to identify who this supportive person might be, it could be a good time to begin exploring ways to expand your network and find other people who are aligned in their goals. This does not mean that you have to cut everyone off, but setting better boundaries to help you remain focused on your goals is important.